Knowing How to Step Out in Faith

2-17-19 blog cover

When my husband and I were first interested in getting a Prius for our new family vehicle, suddenly, they were everywhere.

Every time I was pregnant, or wanted to be, or had just miscarried a precious life, it seemed like there were pregnant women everywhere.

With blinders on, with intense focus on something, we tend to notice it more.

Only two months into 2019, I see and hear the word “move” everywhere– in books, music, scripture, sermons, and podcasts. I know in part, it’s because it’s the word I’ve chosen to pray over and reflect upon this year. But I also know God placed this word on my heart in the same way that He has placed a calling in my heart and His Spirit in my soul to tend it, and He is continuing to encourage me by revealing a deeper study of what it means to really move toward Him.

My journal lately is starting to sound like a broken record as I continue to revisit the same tensions in my quiet time. I may not have my own expectations for exactly what “move” will mean for me this year, but I also know that my wonder and unknowing is what will stir me to lean on Him for direction.

In Restless: Because you were made for more, Jennie Allen writes about God moving to meet us, willing to meet us as far as we jump, multiplying what we give Him as He did with the loaves and fishes. (This also reminded me of a beautiful essay written by my dear friend Christina, “He Makes Much Out of Little.”)

How can I serve the community where I am right now? How can I stop trying to guard the security I’ve come to know in order to step out in faith?

Lord,

Thank you for the gift of time You provide for me to listen. Thank you for where I am right now and being willing to move to meet me, whether I stay or go, whether I give a little or give much. I know you will take what I can offer. Help me to see where I can serve right now. Help me to share my gifts in the places where you’ve intentionally placed me right now, instead of always questioning whether I’m in the right place. I can serve my community right here. Thank you for this renewed perspective and mindset shift. I can look at where I am though the lens of gratitude and service. Amen. 

If you ever feel guilty for just craving alone time to indulge in self-care and uninterrupted reflection on pursuing the next steps God is calling you toward, I’d be honored if you’d head over to Kindred Mom to read my essay published on Kindred Mom this week, Seeking Solitude in the Midst of Motherhood.

For more thoughts on my one word for 2019, “move,” you can find my recent essay one post back.

 

 

My One Word for 2019: Move

png (1).pngA recurring respite awaits me, unassuming, in the middle of my week. I didn’t find it until this past fall, when my son began piano lessons. The cozy den where I wait during his lesson is warm and inviting, the L-shaped sectional welcoming me back week after week. Worship music plays from a small boombox on the bottom shelf of a curated bookcase of Bibles and devotionals. A soothing candle is usually nestled onto the farmhouse coffee table, but today in its place squatted a small jar of Hershey Kisses, some last remnants of the holidays. I’ve joked with my son’s piano teacher that I would pay her the same amount she charges per lesson in exchange for the solitude of this room for 30 minutes a week, even if there was no lesson.

As the lesson began over in the music room, I thought about the rhythm I’ve created for this quiet time. I had gotten into a pattern of fitting writing and silent worship into these 30 minutes, but today I thought I might be too nervous to write as I carefully poured over some notes instead, notes I’ve been preparing for months for an interview tomorrow.

Somewhere between the steady beat of the worship music, flipping through my notes, and the labored piano notes of my six-year-old’s lesson on the other side of the wall, I found myself overcome, succumbing instead to prayer. Had there been room, I might have even dropped to my knees, but the couch afforded plenty of space to feel His presence.

I felt gripped, tethered on a fast-moving train, the pull of God’s call almost dizzying me even as I tried to sort out the scenery rushing past, everything I’ve ever done in my life leading up this moment, this new track being laid out before me. I pray for this door to be opened, that tomorrow will shed clarity onto the blur of the track before me.

My word for 2019 is “move.” God gifted me this word to steward and then pulled me along when I was least expecting it tonight. I have a lot of ideas of what “move” could mean for me this year, and I will continue to pray that God will guide me toward where He’s calling me with this word.

I should have known God would meet me here, as He does week after week.

Only this time, there was chocolate.

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Did you pray for a word this year? I’d love for you to share your word below.